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No Aloha.

July 16, 2019July 16, 2019 ~ killingvenus ~ Leave a comment

My baby is due tomorrow. However, he is showing no signs of vacating his warm, cosy home and I have been advised by my well-meaning midwife that he’ll probably be late. So now, I just wait and, well, eat my way through all the biscuits I suppose. I haven’t written anything on here since last … Continue reading No Aloha.

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Summer is over and it's back to school today so here's a visual representation of how I've spent the last 6 weeks- toddler wrangling and laughing. I've not had time for much else so I'm looking forward to the return of routine and structure (and a 1 hour commute to myself). I'm really excited about this year as tbfh, it can't be worse than last year, can it?

With a toddler who's into picture books and a renewed passion for my job (jk see how I feel at the end of September), I'm finally excited again about kids' books and this is the best I've seen in ages. Beautifully representative of all kinds of bodies, it's a true celebration. Rudy calls it "Everybody's Cool" and is obsessed with the "baby having milkies" but I love that this is a book that shows children beauty in all shapes, sizes, colours, gender identities, abilities and disabilities. I have scars on my body and my sister's condition is also represented which we can talk about and usualise as he grows up. Thank you @tylerfeder

CALL IT WHAT IT IS.

I’d love to post a whimsical feeding photo to commemorate World Breastfeeding Week but I don’t have any. My phone being repaired so I’ve lost my photos for the time being but any recent photos I do have just demonstrate the tedious gymnastics involved in nursing a boob fixated toddler who shows absolutely no signs of self weaning any time soon. He is determinedly, vocally, publicly, unashamedly boob obsessed and feeding him in public is really challenging the part of me that confidently whipped out my spaniel ears all over town when he was an infant because I know exactly what a lot of people are now thinking. I’ve been told that as soon they’re old enough to ask for it, they’re too old and that he doesn’t *need* it, to which I reply with the litany of not just medical benefits but social and emotional ones too. However, extended breastfeeding is not without challenges. Bed time avoidance means longer, erratic nursing sessions. Most nights I have to bathe with so he can feed while I wash him. I’m still woken up several times a night to feed back to sleep and I can be woken for the day anytime from 5am to start the day with a mammoth feed. Boundaries are slow and hard to keep. My body is not mine but how do I teach him that it’s not his either? I’ve started lying to him, something I thought I’d never do, but it’s slowly working. “Boobies don’t work while mama drinks her coffee” “Boobies don’t work until you’ve got your pyjamas on.” Who knows when our journey will come to an end but I do know that with the UK’s breastfeeding feeding rates being some of the lowest in the world, I am incredibly proud we’ve made it this far and we certainly wouldn’t have without the ever present, nonjudgmental support of local angels @eleanor.ruth.king @lizzie.cakeclub @intheclubmidwifery @theoxytocinn I was shown kindness and education which respected my boundaries within minutes of giving birth, I was visited by a member of the @abssouthend team on the maternity ward informing me of local breastfeeding support groups I could attend, I had a wonderful health visitor who trusted my judgment and I am surrounded by other extended breastfeeding parents.

Back to making a nuisance of myself with @allrisecollective near Tory MP's offices. Should this government decide to move ahead with the removal of the universal credit uplift, we will be here, very close to David Amess' office, REGULARLY, raising awareness of the impact it will have, attempting to engage local Tory voters and collecting donations to be distributed at the Southend Care Bank. And James Duddridge, don't think we've forgotten about you!

2 years of Rudy Ratbag. Still as gentle and stoic as the day he was born and still as much of an absolute boob monster. This past year has seen him start nursery (smashed it) and learn to walk and talk (smashed it and smashed it-I'm pretty sure his vocabulary is more advanced than mine these days). I just hope he's learnt to sleep for longer than 3 hours at a time by his next birthday!

Recent Posts

All The Women In Me Are Tired. November 14, 2020
Bringing Up Baby. June 23, 2020
Morning Song. January 19, 2020
No Aloha. July 16, 2019
Seeing Red. November 18, 2018

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