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No Aloha.

July 16, 2019July 16, 2019 ~ killingvenus ~ Leave a comment

My baby is due tomorrow. However, he is showing no signs of vacating his warm, cosy home and I have been advised by my well-meaning midwife that he’ll probably be late. So now, I just wait and, well, eat my way through all the biscuits I suppose. I haven’t written anything on here since last … Continue reading No Aloha.

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One of my favourite things about moving to Southend is the people I've met, especially since having Rudy. I spent the morning at the breastfeeding support group that I've been attending since the Ratbag was born (2 years in and it still provides invaluable advice and support) and before taking him to the aquarium this afternoon, I joined @keri_l_jarvis for an Instagram live to talk about my upcoming workshop I'm running to support local families in implementing social justice in their parenting. I hate seeing my own face on camera and the thought of others listening to my cockney-essex hybrid foghorn voice fills me with stone cold fear (the few talking stories I've done on here have taken a lot of overthinking and overanalyzing) I ramble, go off tangents and forget what I was even talking about in the first place, not even sure if I've answered the original question or in fact made a valid point while my face contorts and gurns. I definitely need to start making notes and organising my thoughts! Anyway, if you don't already, go and follow Keri. She's a babe, a cheerleader, a maker of memes and a feminist queen ❤️

Today is International Boys' Day and it's a timely reminder of how important it is that we ensure our boys are freed from the shackles of a masculinity that destroys their tenderness and a society that enforces a singular narrative on what it means to be a boy. I picked up this beautiful book from @jacqsondiego at Christmas for Rudy and we'll be reading it to him before bed tonight. He will always know that there is no one way to be a boy and that his capacity for softness and joy will forever be celebrated.

Last night, my mind went to a dark place when thinking about my son's future. Thinking about the so many ways I could fail him in the coming years and how, as he grows, his spheres of influence grow with him and my role in them will diminish. I never want to be the kind of mother who says "my son wouldn't do that" but I also want to raise him consciously aware that we live in a society that actively encourages "that" from our boys, a society that cuts through their softness and stunts their emotional growth. Boys must be held accountable for their actions but we also need to stop raising them within the confines of the strict gender binaries enforced by a damaging patriarchal system- a system that is desperately failing everyone.

I've been feeling pretty sorry for myself recently and this quote by @sonyareneetaylor hits hard. Every day there is something to be further outraged and devastated about but what is the point of outrage, particularly public outrage, if we don't actually do anything? I'm always battling with myself about whether I ever do enough but what is enough? What is the absolute bare minimum we should be doing because it certainly feels like we're not doing enough. I certainly don't ever feel like I'm doing enough. Activism looks different for everyone due to accessibility but we all need to be asking ourselves whether we're being outraged into altruistic radical action or whether it's easier to placate our own conscience into thinking we're doing something and remain in our comfort zones? Activism shouldn't be comfortable and it shouldn't be for the approval of our peers. So what has made you angry recently and what are you doing about it? #SonyaReneeTaylor

Join me at @do.it.like.a.mother_hq on Saturday 12thbJune for a workshop for families who want to include social justice in their parenting.

I haven't had a lot to say recently and I've been struggling to place my anger because there is so much to be angry about these days (where the fuck to start?!?) I've been losing myself in parenting my child and just trying to be as present as possible when with him (despite typing this as he watches the Wiggles while he eats his dinner). We've been having a great time but I do need to make some space for myself.

Recent Posts

All The Women In Me Are Tired. November 14, 2020
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No Aloha. July 16, 2019
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