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Email: killvenus@hotmail.com

Twitter: @theladyeve

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One month old today. I still can’t believe that this little tyrannical ratbag is mine and I get to keep him. I often feel like someone is going to turn up on the doorstep and tell me that there’s been a mistake and ask for him back. The last month has gone so quickly and he is growing and changing so fast and without wishing his life away, I can’t wait to see the little person he is going to grow into. Every day is a challenge and a reward and I’m focussing on the positives each day rather than failures. Rudy is so loved and not just by me. He couldn’t wish for a better father and role model than @mr_redsimon and his nanny @denharrington who has given us so much support and love this past month. Who loves ya Rudy? We all do ♥️ #rudywilson #onemonthold #postpartum #fourthtrimester #newborn

I’ve had an incredible day celebrating my birthday and Rudy’s arrival with our amazing friends. The best part of the weekend was having my best friend of 25 years @syn_stuff here to meet my boy for the first time ♥️ I’m also loving that I still get to wear my favourite maternity dungarees while I wait for my mum tum to go down #bestbitches #thelmatomylouise #romytomymichelle #dionnetomycher

Throwback to my 28th birthday in 2011 in Berlin with @syn_stuff and an absolutely stunning photo from today, my 36th birthday. In the first picture, I was a few months out of an emotionally abusive relationship (but only months from meeting Simon) and working a job that made me miserable. I rarely left the house without my ‘face’ on and never felt like I fit in anywhere. Today, I started my birthday with my three week old son stuck to my boob while I pumped from the other and feeling grateful as I had two stretches of two hours of sleep last night 🙌🏻 can’t wait to see what this year brings (hopefully no more surprises as big as Rudy!) #throwbackthursday #tbt #threeweekspostpartum #postpartum #fourthtrimester #breastfeeding #haakaa

Two weeks postpartum and my body is not recovering but transforming and changing into something new everyday. It will never go back to how it was and I am absolutely fine with that. My body will never have not grown my furiously hungry little boy and it will never not have fed and nourished him as he grows bigger and stronger with each feed. Feeding him is a privilege and a joy and something I hope always continue to look forward and treasure. I know that I’m turning into a baby bore but the world is currently such a horrible place that I’m just not willing to leave this newborn bubble yet. Every time I read or watch the news I start crying and I don’t have the energy to get angry and articulate it just yet so you’ll just have to put up with pictures of my post pregnancy body and my baby for now until I can face the shit show that is the real world. #postpartum #postpartumbody #fourthtrimester #breastfeeding #newborn #rudywilson

One week postpartum and I’m starting to feel a bit more like myself. I had my first bath yesterday and it was the first time I really missed my bump. I missed it rising out of the water and watching him wiggling around in there. We’ve been going out for short periods which leaves me sore but feeding is going so much better than I ever imagined it would which is lucky as it’s all he wants to do during his waking hours. I’ve forgotten what decent sleep feels like as I wake constantly to check he’s still breathing and I’ve slept with my glasses on every night since coming home so that I can see him as soon as I open my eyes. #postpartum #postpartumbody #newborn #fourthtrimester #rudywilson

Four days postpartum and I’m still figuring out what’s happening to my body. I tried to stay as informed as possible with what was happening to my body while I was pregnant but naively didn’t think about what would happen afterwards. I have spent the entire morning moving from bedroom to living room and back again wearing nothing but a massive pair of black midi briefs and a maternity pad that feels like a rolled up newspaper between my legs and Spritz for Bits has become my new best friend. I haven’t even bothered putting my t shirt back on since I took it off to feed at 5am. I still look six months pregnant and I’ve just realised I still have plasters on my bum from all the injections. I don’t remember the last time I brushed my teeth and my left boob is massive and sore because Rudy refuses to take it so I’ve sent Simon out for emergency breast pump shopping. I have had a newborn stuck to my right boob for about 99% of the morning but that’s ok because all I want to do is look at him up close 100% of the time. I haven’t left the house since getting home from the hospital 3 days ago and until I can walk without looking like I’ve shit myself, I’m staying on the sofa with the custard creams. #postpartumbody #postpartum #newborn #rudywilson #fourthtrimester

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